


Careful what you wish for

by ediwra



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:03:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5022160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ediwra/pseuds/ediwra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some children dream of being soldiers. Dashing gentleman moving to sweep the princess off her feet. Some dream of being married to a nobleson even when born into a commoners house. Some dream of being Templars, defending the innocent and destroying the guilty...</p><p>The last one was exactly the wish of one particular girl; but wishes don't always come true. </p><p>and no one dreams of being a mage these days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. walk and talk like you

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first fanfiction ever~ I'm exploring a slightly different beginning from the viewpoint of a female mage trevelyan. I'm absolutely in love with Cullen but this girl has a bit of trouble getting to like him.
> 
> Bioware owns all~
> 
> Feel free to leave any comments :)

She knew he was a Templar the moment she saw him. It was not some magical intuition. Nor sensation of her mana being drained.

She need not see him lift a sword or wear the armor. She only needed to see him speak. Hand folded just so on the hilt of his blade as he was introduced. Chin lifted ever so slightly after bowing his head in greeting. Gaze sharp and calculating-following the subtle movement of her hands as she toyed with one of the war table pieces. Calm and collected but ever watchful. 

Oh yes she knew he was a Templar before he even said. Whether he left the Order or not-the way they walk, talked and looked spoke volumes. It was not something one could simply grow out of. 

It was never any fun to be right about it all the time however,-once the confirmation came Aria let out a subtle sigh.

Here she was, a mage in the middle of a war, surrounded by chantry followers. Whatever ironic sense of humour the Maker had-she was no longer a fan of such pranks he pulled on her life.

But the group was moving on from the pretty Templar to the others.

"My position here requires a degree of-

"She is our Spymaster." Cassandra interrupted Lelianna abruptly, her warm brown eyes slashing sideways towards Aria.

"Yes, tactfully put Cassandra." Lelianna uttered in a near exasperated tone.

Aria let out a soft snort. Quickly covered by a hand as Cassandra's gaze narrowed on her. She cleared her throat; fingers flexing around the wooden object she held. 

"That's an impressive bunch of titles...though I'm sure we'll be needing them." She trailed off at the end, gaze lowering to the small figurine in her hand. She set it down on the map as Cassandra spoke once more.

"I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the breach for good."

Aria found herself fading out of the conversation as Lelianna spoke up- an argument coming up between her and the Templar over which party they should approach.

"I was a templar-I know what they're capable of." Cullen said as Aria tuned back in.

She was almost inclined to say that she to, knew exactly what they were capable of. But Josephine stepping in caused her to hold her tongue.

"Unfortunately neither group will even speak to us yet, the Chantry has denounced the Inquisition -and you specifically." She said-gesturing to Aria with her quill.

"That didn't take long." She muttered in a dry voice. "So they still think I'm guilty."

"That is not the entirety of it any longer..." Josephine murmured. "Some are calling you...a Mage...the "Herald of Andraste" that frightens the chantry...the remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy and we..heretics for harbouring you."

Cassandra gave a sound of disgust. "Chancellor Roderick's doing, no doubt."

Josephine shrugged. " It limits our options, right now approaching the Mages or Templars for help is out of the question."

Aria shook her head slowly. " Just how am -I- the Herald of Adraste?" Her gaze moved slowly to the others until resting on Cassandra as she answered.

"People saw what you did at the temple. How you stopped the Breach from growing. They have also heard of the woman seen in the rift when we found you, they believe that was Adraste."

"Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading-" Lelianna began.

"Which we have not." Cassandra supplied...meeting Lelianna's hard stare with her own.

The spymaster flicked her gaze back to Aria. "The point is everyone is talking about you."

Aria breathed out heavily through her nose.

Everyone is talking about her? What could go wrong.

===

* * *

 

Cullen watched as Lady Trevelyan took her leave after the meeting; her answer to his question ringing in his ears. 

"Quite the title isn't it. How does that make you feel?"

"It's...a little unnerving."

His gaze settled on the marker resting over Hinterlands...the Herald would be travelling there in three days time to speak with mother Giselle. Despite their current need of her-he wasn't sure what to make of her demeanour. 

Her gaze had been lowered throughout most of the meeting-leading him to believe she was merely shy. However when she spoke -a different woman seemed to slide into her place.

Her shoulders lifted, chin tilted back proudly. Gaze sharp as she spoke in an authoritative tone. The kind of voice that made people listen. Once her point was addressed, her gaze would lower once more-hand toying with the wooden marker she held. 

It was...odd.

"An interesting noble isn't she?" Lelianna murmured to Cullen-her blue gaze sparking with mirth. He blinked and lifted his head to peer at her through narrowed eyes.

"Depends on what you mean by interesting." His hand folded over the hilt of his blade while Lelianna merely shrugged.

Aria Trevelyan was...easy to look at. Her long dark red hair was piled at the back of her head in a large messy bun to try and tame the curls. The bangs were left hanging loose around her face. She had a beauty mark just below her right eye and on the left side of her upper lip. Her gaze was a warm amber colour-nearing gold. If it weren't for the guarded look in her eyes-she would seem very welcoming. He shook the thoughts from his head as Lelianna spoke.

"Just how she carries herself. Very...proud. Though she seemed more hesitant when being questioned herself." Her gaze slid over towards Cassandra.

The seeker had her hands pressed against the tables edge, head bowed as she skimmed her eyes over the map slowly.

"If she is hiding something I am sure you can find it, Lelianna." Cassandra murmured at last.

"She didn't seem all that intimidating." Josephine offered lightly. 

The others merely glanced at the ambassador and then the door where the Herald had left.

"Appearances can be deceiving." Lelianna responded finally.

* * *

 

Aria sat on the edge of her bed sometime later that day. Staring at the ground lost in thought. Her fingers delved beneath her new robes to tug loose the ever present chain around her neck. 

The small metal sword pendant felt warm in her hands. Her lips pressing together as she ran her finger gently over the small details. 

The Templar symbol had been broken-and repaired many times by shaking hands. It was a pitiful relic of the once precious amulet she wore. 

With the Ostwick Circle destroyed...there was nowhere she seemed to belong any more.

and she had only just belonged there because she was a mage.

Wouldn't want to accidentally set more curtains on fire...

Her hand clenched around the metal sword at the unwanted thought. 

She tucked the necklace away once more and stood, moving to the wash basin to gently splash her face. Her head lifted after to peer at the face of the girl in a mirror. Soft face...sharp eyes. She smiled briefly-but fake smiles never brought any joy to her severe gaze. She closed her eyes briefly and breathed out through her mouth before rising-pulling her hair back into its usual bun before moving to step outside once more.

She could not avoid the others of the Inquisition...

if this is where she belonged now...she was going to at least try and make the most of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria steps out of her comfort zone...Cullen isn't sure what to make of her still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying the story~
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos :3 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Any suggestions are welcome.

Cullen watched with a mental groan of frustration as he saw the recruit crumble beneath the man's blow once more. His hand raising to rub over his face before he sighed. " You there...there's a shield in your hand, block with it."

He turned his head towards his lieutenant. "Lieutenant, don't hold back...all the recruits must prepare for a real fight not a practice one."

"Yes commander-" He saluted and stepped towards the man again.

Cullen turned to walk back to the front of the men practising, turning and folding his arms behind him as he watched the recruits resume taining. He called out orders occasionally but was pleased to note he didn't have to demonstrate how to hold the blade or shield today-It was a small improvement but improvement all the same. The hairs at the back of his neck seemed to stand on end and he discreetly turned his head to glance around. Aria Trevelyan was leaning by the entrance to the inner walls of Haven-her golden gaze locked on the men as they trained. Following the movement of their blocks and nodding her head ever so slightly-as if in approval.

Her bright gaze then slid towards him and Cullen felt his cheeks grow warm-he shook the feeling off. Her approval of their new recruits was not the same as her praising him.

What did a Mage know of combat in close quarters anyway?

He didn't have time to ponder the thought for long before said Mage was walking straight towards him. Cullen hastily turned his gaze back to the recruits and spoke in what was thankfully an even tone.

"We've received a number of recruits, locals from haven and some pilgrims...None made quite the entrance you did." His gaze shifted back to her finally-fast enough to catch the wry smile on her lips.

"I like to stand out..." She said after a beat of silence, her lips twitching again and he turned more fully towards her-hand folding over the hilt of his blade.

"Do you, really?" He asked curiously.

Her gaze shifted down-to where his hand rested over his sword before she lifted her head to peer at him-stance shifting as her shoulders pulled back.

Proud, Cullen thought. Just as Lelianna had said.

"No...not really." Her lips twitched again and she gave him a teasing look. "Though its easier to pretend I'm enjoying it...seeing as how I can't seem to escape it right now."

As if to reinforce her words they both glanced to the recruits; some had stopped to merely glance their way curiously. Cullen reached up to rub at the back of his neck but gestured down between the rows of recruits, at Aria's nod he led the way between the men, past the tents for an attempt at some semblance of privacy.

"I was recruited to Inquisition in Kirkwall myself, I was there during the mage uprising, I saw first hand the devastation it caused." Cullen turned at the small 'ser' from a messenger-accepting the report he offered as he continued. " Cassandra sought a solution, when she offered me a position, I left the Templars to join her cause....Now it seems we face something far worse."

They came to a stopjust past the tents and Aria turned her gaze towards the breach as Cullen skimmed over the report.

"With the conclave destroyed and a giant hole in the sky-things aren't looking good." Aria turned back towards him as he signed off on the report and handed it back to the scout.

"Which is why we're needed. The chantry lost control of both Templars and Mages, now they argue over a new Divine while the breach remains. The inquisition could act where the chantry could not-our followers could be part of that. There's so much we can-." He paused noting the small smirk playing about her lips. He shook his head. " Forgive me, I doubt you came here for a lecture."

Her head tipped to the side and she peered at him through her lashes. " No...but if you have one prepared I'd love to hear it."

He chuckled...glancing away. " Another time perhaps."

He looked back to her and was thrown off by the smile she offered.

Aria Trevelyan had something immensely...sad about her appearance. Every smile and gesture seemed practice...it never quite sparked real reactions in her eyes. Seeing her now he could see why she might hide it at times. They were so open-easy to read. Eyes crinkling at the corners as dimples were revealed in her cheeks.

How had he not noticed she had dimples?

He cleared his throat...." I...uh....there's still a lot of work ahead."

He found himself being relieved by the following interruption of another messenger. Turning to look at Aria with a small smile as he gestured to the man. " As I was saying."

Her smile was gone now-but before her walls could fall back into place he caught the spark of mirth dancing in her eyes. She lowered her head to him in a form of goodbye and he turned to make his leave.

Her voice stopped him.

"Cullen?"

He turned back to her in confusion to find her not actually looking at him but gazing into the distance towards the breach. Before she shook herself slightly and turned her head-peering over her shoulder at him. "Good work with the recruits."

Without another word she turned and walked away-heading back to Haven with her hands folded behind her. Standing at a sort of military rest.

He turned back to the recruits who had all stopped to watch the exchange and slowly raised an eyebrow. " Do real attackers stop because you got distracted?"

The men shuffled awkwardly-before the ringing of swords filled the area again.

Cullen peered towards Aria once more before she walked out of his view.

An interesting noble indeed.

* * *

 

Hinterlands was a war zone. 

Aria had known this going in of course...but it didn't make seeing the carnage first hand any easier. Ostwick had been an experience she never wished to revisit. But it seemed the Maker had other plans for her. Ones far more bloody than her escape from her former home.

Her group sat around the fire in their camp just above the crossroads. Aria found her gaze drawn to the flames as she mulled over their options.

She had absolutely no wish to go to Val Royeaux, beautiful as some may claim-she had no want to see it. Sadly that was not up to her to decide. 

She started as Cassandra sat down next to her. 

"It occurs to me that I don't know much about you." The seeker said slowly...the two had not started on good terms and Aria figured this was the Seeker's attempt at smoothing out their first impressions. 

"What do you want to know?" Aria asked softly, reaching out her hand and letting the flames lift a little bit higher at her direction. Varric and Solas stopped their conversation and fell silent-peering towards the two cautiously. Cassandra-realizing they had an audience awkwardly glanced away.

"I'm not sure...where are you from?"

Aria shot her an incredulous look but the woman wasn't looking at her. She discreetly glanced towards Varric as he nudged Solas. Something was up.

"You don't already know?" She said curiously but merely shrugged it off. "I come from the circle in Ostwick...though I doubt that comes as a surprise."

Aria grabbed a nearby stick and prodded at the flames as the silence stretched until Cassandra finally broke it.

"Did you enjoy your time spent there?"

Aria paused at the question...it was not an easy one to answer and as she turned to meet Cassandra's gaze she could feel the Seeker evaluating her reaction to her words. Aria's lips grew dry. Honesty, or rather as much honesty as was safe to relay, was always better than being caught in a lie. 

"...Most of the time...I enjoyed my studies...but I am too curious for my own good. There was always more I wanted to learn...if only to better understand it. Even if I did not put such understanding into practice. Although, if any magic used wasn't part of the...curriculum. The Templars became suspicious."

"Isn't that their job, Tiny?" Varric asked softly...

Aria thought on her answer for a moment..."...My best friend was made tranquil for reading a book wrongly placed in the library..." At the silence she lifted her gaze from the flames and hesitated..."...It wasn't something any of us could read...you needed to have passed your harrowing and have the knight captain and first enchanter's permission..." She licked her lips and lowered her gaze. "...The librarians accidentally placed it on the wrong shelf and she found it."

Varric gave a sharp intake of breath. " They made her tranquil? over -that-?"

Aria pressed her lips together. "My circle was not lenient Varric...minor offences add up." She lifted her head to stare at him. " Was it not the same in Kirkwall?"

Varric grimaced but did not respond, Aria felt a tinge of guilt. " I'm sorry...I didn't..." She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. " I am incredibly bad at this."

Solas tilted his head to peer at her more closely. "How many minor offences did she make."

Aria cursed herself internally before glancing evenly at the elven Apostate.

She liked Solas quite a bit. He sated her curiosity with an amused smile and indulged her constant questions.

In a way, she supposed she owed him an answer to this one.

"...I wasn't well liked in the circle. For a number of reasons I would rather not get into. My best summary is my family didn't leave me with the greatest of impressions at the circle...Marina was my friend. They thought I put her up to stealing the book. With no evidence to link me to the event-I was let off with a warning. She being made tranquil I suppose was more of a threat...one to remind me to know my place."

Solas narrowed his eyes. " Did you? Know your place?"

Aria pressed her lips together and stood, dusting off her robe as she made her way to her tent as she answered.

"I thought I did."

"But?" Cassandra prompted bluntly.

She paused at the entrance to her tent and peered back towards the seeker tiredly.  

"But people change. Friends can become enemies. and sometimes." She turned her head forward. " sometimes you can't tell the difference."

She stepped inside without another word.

Varric snorted. "Good going, Seeker."

Cassandra scowled. " I was only asking."

"Clearly it was a sore subject, we pried enough...you didn't need to prompt her after."

The Seeker stomped off to her tent and Varric rolled his eyes. "What mess have we gotten ourselves into, Chuckles?"

"One I hope we can actually clean up, Master Tethras"

Well shit, that didn't make Varric feel any better.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lelianna figures out some stuff about Aria while she is away in Val Royeaux, Cullen accidentally slips up and she finds out...
> 
> Awkwardness and anger begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing
> 
> hope everyone's enjoying the story so far-sorry for the delay-school ahs kept me busy. this chapter is short because its setting up the next one which will hopefully be posted tomorrow :D

"You will not believe what I've found." Lelianna's lilting voice sounded before she herself rounded the corner into Josie's room. The two other Advisor's blinked at her slowly. arching brows up and peering sideways at each other in near paranoia.

Cullen knew that Lelianna rarely got excited over new information as it was most often bad news. What could possibly have her looking so...giddy?

The red headed Spymaster sighed at them both. Hands moving to rest on her hips. "You do want to learn more about our dear Herald, no?" Josie blinked at her friend in surprise. " You looked into her past then?"

Lelianna waved her away. " Of course I did, everyone has secrets. and our dear friend Aria....perhaps more than just a few."

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "She's working with us rather well...her actions in the Hinterlands have proved fruitful...even if we did have to build those watchtowers. Word of our organization is spreading thanks to her. Is it really wise to test her loyalty by digging where we don't belong?"

Lelianna shrugged. "She was a suspect before this, even if we think her innocent now-I was already looking into her past before she woke up. It seemed silly to quit while I was ahead. So...do you want to know about her or not?"

Josephine frowned and Cullen fought back an urge of curiosity that rose to the front of his mind. "Oh go on then." He finally muttered, leaning over the table as he eyed the Spymaster warily. Lelianna looked the cat that caught the canary and he felt his stomach twist at the thought of whatever the bard had found out about Aria.

"While out in the hinterlands, Aria apparently let it slip that her and her family aren't on the best terms and that when she was brought to the circle things were...complicated." Lelianna paused. "Shes the youngest of three...not the heir to her families fortunes and not the spare some nobles keep around." She lifted her head and peered at the two of them. Letting the silence stretch. "Her oldest brother gave up his rights to the family name and fortune when he joined the templars-What was surprising is that this wasn't uncommon. The Trevelyans are incredibly devout-most of them are Templars or at least serve the chantry. What I found odd is that Aria was barely mentioned in what I could hear about them. I assumed that it was because she was young when she was taken to the circle."

Cullen frowned at her hesitation. "But?"

"...But I assumed wrong, Commander. Our little mage was being trained by a Templar while her oldest brother helped to convince her parents to let her join the order-beyond that she also was involved with the Templar who was training her. His name was Derras...and its said that he moved circles after she was brought in...Her magic manifested late."

Cullen felt like he had been punched in the gut. "She wanted to be a Templar?"

Lelianna nodded. "and from what I can tell...that didn't earn her any friends when it became known she was a mage. She wasn't lying when she said her family and her are on bad terms."

"How bad? I was going to ask if maybe we could contact them. Her noble blood could be of help if I can smooth things ov-" At the look Lelianna shot Josephine the diplomat wisely fell silent. "I don't think this can be smoothed over." Lelianna murmured gently. "Aria has been all but disowned."

 

 

* * *

Aria wanted to scream.

The clerics all lost and confused, the templars going batshit crazy and now the infamous Fiona trying to extend help. 

Not to mention the fancy party she went to-dressed up in armour in front of a very fancy Madame de fer

And now....now breeches. a bag of breeches that Sera felt was a good thing to remove from the men they then fought.

Aria had not seen many penises in her short life...but by the Maker she did not want to see them like -that- ever again.

Sera had tried suggesting that they were maybe simply not her 'thing.' With a large grin and a wink to follow Aria had only been able to stare mutely at the elf girl as Solas loudly smacked his forehead behind them.

Haven was thus a sight for sore eyes and Aria found herself praying no one would interrupt her after her meeting with the War council...so she could simply sleep and forget about...whatever the hell had just happened.

During the meeting as she explained what happened to Cullen, Josephine and Lelianna, she noticed odd looks being tossed her way now and then and found herself shifting awkwardly under their stare. Though whenever she lifted her head they all were conveniently not glancing her way.

The commander's jaw was tight and she could not be surprised if he was grinding his teeth.

The meeting was brief, awkward, and...intimidating.

Aria found herself gratefully fleeing to her cabin at the end of it. Closing the door with a gentle thud that still managed to hurt the pounding in her head.

She threw off her clothes, haphazardly and dived beneath the covers of her bed. Warmth blossomed and she closed her eyes to begin gratefully sinking deeper into the bed-she felt her mind drifting-the fade grabbing hold of her.

And then someone had to knock on the door. 

She groaned and got out of the bed-thankfully tossing on a robe quickly before opening the door. " Varric as much as I love your stories I really need to-" She cut off upon turning her gaze to her visitor and not seeing her trusty dwarf waiting.

No...Commander Cullen stared down at her with arched brows.

and by the look on his face-she had a feeling this wouldn't be a brief visit.

..There went going to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this literally taking forever. I dropped this story so long ago and only recently came back to it and thought maybe I could change and add some things.
> 
> Hope everyone is well. 
> 
> Now Cullen will be almost interrogating Aria, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting this back up. Might edit old chapters if it's received nicely.
> 
> Comments are love.

Cullen could read the exhaustion in her eyes, the flare of surprise sparking to life as she met his gaze.

Only for her to step back and motion him inside. He stepped into the cabin slowly, eyeing the various dried herbs on a desk and letters half written.

Aria awkwardly shifted around the room, picking up the fallen clothes she had tossed to the floor and finally rose to peer at him.

Tucking loose hair back behind her ear she cleared her throat.

" Sorry, for the mess commander, what can I do for you?" 

Cullen turned towards her, his hand folding over the pommel of his blade as always.

" How did you learn to fight?" He asked suddenly. Only to nearly bite his own tongue in frustration.

That wasn't what he meant to ask, but part of him wondered if she would merely tell him the truth.

Aria looked confused. " I was trained at the circle in Ostwick." She said slowly.

"No not that." He gritted out, feeling a headache building in his temple.

Aria frowned at his tone. Shoulders drawing back, spine stiff, hands folded at the base of it.

" Are you questioning the completion of my studies? Do you believe I never finished my harrowing?" Her voice turned frosty. For eyes that always seemed warm- he found the sight of them now- chilling.

He would not be intimidated.

" I meant before the circle, Aria."

His voice came out sharper than intended and he saw her mask slip to reveal a tired realization.

" Ah..." Aria trailed off turning her head away from him and looking around the room.

" Ah? That's it?" He said in disbelief, stepping towards her only to fall still when her eyes cut towards the hand on his blade.

" I assume you heard from Lelianna." Her shoulders shrugged. " it wasn't exactly a secret I would keep if one asked me about it Cullen."

Cullen's brows furrowed. " Stop being vague Herald, you were a Templar and now-"

" Now what?" Her voice was firm, brows lifting. " Times change, Cullen. I dreamed of growing up and helping mages feel safe at the circle, protecting them from themselves and others but also learning about the wondrous things they could create. I was not a Templar, I was a fool." 

Her voice was casual, her strict demeanour returning with a vengeance.

" I never completed anything save the basic training, and even then it was done in secret. I was fourteen when I started." 

Cullen looked winded, " that's...older than I expected. " 

Aria shrugged. " I trained for two years under Derras in secret. It was on my sixteenth name day that everything crashed and burned around me- literally." 

Her voice was flat. " I thought I was in love with him, the dashing Templar who taught me to wield a blade. But it wasn't him I was dancing with that night. It was some older gentlemen who put his hands a bit too low, too many times."

Cullen didn't want to hear this, but he watched her steadily as she continued.

" I burnt him, I didn't mean to. But then again who ever really means to when it comes to magic? And everyone began to panic. Every slur in the book was tossed in my face and in my panic...more flames came. I nearly burnt the family manor to the ground trying to run away." 

Her voice fell away for a moment. " I went to Derras, begged him to fix me, told him I never wanted this...he wore a smile and played the part of my friend, my lover." 

Cullen swallowed. 

Her eyes cut to him sharply. " and then he knocked me unconscious, and dragged me to the circle...my family refused to speak to me, my brothers were appalled. And derras asked to be reassigned...so I was left with the Templars knowing and hating me. And the mages now to. So no. I was not a Templar. I was not a mage. I was nothing but a fool, alone and afraid. " 

She went silent for a long moment dragging a hand down her face. " they made me vow never to reveal any secrets I learned...and then kept a close eye on me in the coming years. I told the others the circle was strict. I do not know how it was for the other mages...I only knew one and she no longer feels a thing...but the entire experience was hardly welcoming. My dreams were crushed and burned. Just like the manor."

Cullen was silent for a moment as he watched her. Her arms now folded beneath her bust. Eyes dark and distant- not in the present but set on the past, he understood the look well.

" I'm sorry-" he began but she looked at him and shook her head.

" No, you aren't. You're scared." She stated simply. 

He froze " I have nothing to fear." He stated firmly. " not from you."

Aria smiled but it didn't reach her eyes." You come here with rage in your eyes and your hand on your blade. And expect me to believe you weren't worried about what I thought of the war? You're worried about who's side I'm on. "

Cullen hated to admit that she was right and try as he might- his hand would not move.

" it's been a long day Cullen...I think you should leave." 

He knew it was a dismissal, but he remained where she was until she finally glared at him.

" Goodnight, Herald." He moved out of the cabin and the door thudded shut loudly behind him; but not before he heard the pained in take of breath she gave at his harsh tone.

" Maker's breath..." Her stomped off to his own tent. 

This headache would do him no favours with sleep tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria goes to Cullen to work some things out and earns a bit of respect in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this we're going to redcliffe and then skyhold!

It was late the following day Aria decided to find where Cullen had skulked off to. The war meeting was brief and her decision to meet with the rebel mages in Redcliffe left her and the Commander at odds. She was avoiding him-and it needed to end if they were supposed to work together.

She approached the training area-eyeing the rows of tents and pulling a passing soldier aside to ask about Cullen’s whereabouts. She was almost surprised to find Cullen stayed in the tents like most of his men. She approached the slightly larger tent and lightly cleared her throat.

Silence met the noise and she pursed her lips. “ Commander?...Are you in...I was hoping we might speak.” Her voice was cautious but warm enough she hoped. 

A shuffle and soft curse was heard within until the opening of the tent was drawn open and Cullen peered at her. “ Herald-” he muttered-reaching up to try and tame his hair back into his usual style-his face was red on the left cheek-ink smeared on the tip of his nose. Dark circles under his eyes. “I’m...sorry You caught me at a bad time.” His eyes swept over her-he seemed taken aback by the fact that her hair was down from its usual sloppy bun. The curls wildly framing her face.

Aria inspected him sharply and tilted her head. “ Did I interrupt your rest, Commander?”

He sighed and motioned her inside the tent. “Not intentionally, your worship...I’m afraid I did not sleep much after our...meeting. “ He moved into the tent once she entered, stepping around the small desk that was set up and reorganizing the mess that had been made. 

“So...me slacking on my duties aside...how may I help you?” He shot her a tired smiled-hoping to convey apologies and she frowned at him.

“Cullen...do remember to come up for air rather than letting your work drown you. A Commander needs rest just like any other man.” She pursed her lips and looked down. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “ Though I came here not to speak as the Herald...so I would appreciate if we could drop the titles for the moment.”

Cullen hesitated visibly-their eyes met and they seemed to both be measuring the other’s expression and reactions. He cleared his throat and broke the stare first; rubbing the back of his neck.”Very well. What would you like me to call you for the moment?”

Her title hung between them not Herald so much as Lady Trevelyan. Though Aria’s gaze softened and she merely murmured her given name softly. 

“Aria it is then.” He agreed. “What do you need to discuss?”

“...When we talked last night...things got tense...I’m sorry for that, Com-Cullen..” Her lips pursed and she closed her eyes for a moment with a sigh before lifting her chin to peer up at him.

“I know...you have some misgivings about mages-understandably.” Her head lifts to peer at him. “ But...I am one. And if we are going to do this-and do it right...you’re going to have to trust me-just like I have to trust you with our men. I don’t have a lot of friends here. I know how they all look at me. And If i don’t save the world...well...they’ll blame all people like me. You know that-it happened in Kirkwall.”

“I-” Cullen mumbled but Aria shook her head, reaching out and taking hold of his hand.She folded something into it and he blinked in confusion. Before peering down at the broken templar pendant she had handed him.

“I know you want to save the Templars...I’m hoping you can send them a letter-responding to the one they sent us. “ Aria murmured. “ If any of them are willing to join us...then they are welcome.” She looked up at him. “ But...I still intend to ally with the mages...and it's not because I am one...but...the only question I have is...can you say as a former templar...without any doubt in your mind...that they would have equal chances of closing that thing as the mages?”

Cullen stared at the pendant and then back at her expression. Her eyes were begging for understanding and he rubbed the back of his neck. But he saw her point. This wasn’t about them...it was about what needed to be done. 

 

“...No...I can’t say that without a doubt.” he admitted finally, looking back to her after glancing to the side. He searched her face as she relaxed. “ As for the letter, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll go and speak with Josephine about it tomorrow.” 

Aria nodded. Sighing gently as she rubbed a hand down her face. “ We leave to head to Redcliffe at midday tomorrow...so I suppose I will see you after?”

He nods. “ Of course,Her-Aria.” He corrected himself and she smiled. He handed back the templar pendant she had shown him and she slipped it back on-tucking it beneath her robes. Their eyes met and held but then her mask slipped back into place. She nodded to him in farewell.

“Sleep well Commander.”

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck as she took her leave. Vexing...the entire situation left him...shocked. But as these things went...he knew she was doing her best. 

I will trust her...maker only knows where we’d be without her.


End file.
